In the digital marketing world, when a website links to your website, search engines want to make sure that the first website is credible, authoritative, and LEGIT! It’s a sort of “digital-word-of-mouth.” If a good source links to your site, or “says something good about you,” you could potentially receive a bump in rankings on search engines.
In a similar fashion, when I receive criticism, I always consider the source. Credible sources that give me valuable critiques help me to get where I’m going… er… boost my personal SEO? Ha!
Here are some critiques I’ve received lately, how I would rate “the source,” and what I’m doing about them.
Critique One: “You’re conceited.”
Evidence: Start sentences with “I,” and “me,” a lot. Focused on “promoting your brand,” above all else. Selfie level = expert.
Verdict: I semi agree.
Obviously, not everyone that meets me knows that I spent most of my life hating everything about this body I’ve been walking around in. They don’t know that I used to pray that God would make me… erm… different. That I would come home from school crying because I was “ugly.” They don’t get that I used to be consumed with how different I was, and that I therefore equated “different” or “abnormal” with UGLY, BAD, and WRONG.
And—I don’t want to tell everyone my life story, because, not everyone cares. I get that.
But I have only very recently come into a place where Kelsea likes Kelsea for Kelsea. Not because a guy is validating me. Not because of a title. Not because of a job. Just because I know my heart and my motivations and my purpose and I’m walking in all of it.
So now that I love me, maybe I’m TOO in love with me? At least when I hated myself, I was super humble…
Resolution: NOW—that being said, I also understand that there is a fine line between being confident and self-assured, and just being conceited. I will admit that I probably double-dutch on that line. There is a lot I could do to be more healthily in love with myself. So, to be less obsessed with me I’m going to:
- Devote more time to service (volunteer work, service products, charity, etc.)
- Chill out on the selfies
- Practice gratitude before confidence
Critique Two: “You don’t know what you want.”
Source: Highest level of trust possible (next to Jesus)
Evidence: See lack of direction of this blog, constant indecisiveness on whether or not I’ll have kids, and/or the first half of my resume.
Verdict: Wholly disagree.
How vague is the topic of “what I want?” SUPER vague. What do I really want? I want what we all want:
- To reach my potential (and beyond) in my career
- To spend the rest of my life with my best friend
- To leave this world better than I found it
- To make my time, my relationships, my presence meaningful
That’s not different than what you want, yah? I think I’m pretty clear about those things in how I spend my time and what I do on a daily basis.
But I also know what Super Trusted Source was saying: my short term goals change a lot.
Resolution: Be less vocal about my desires and more intentional about my actions. That simple. Keep me accountable.
Critique Three: “You care too much about what people think about you.”
Evidence: Everything I ever do.
Verdict: *heavy sigh* Ugh, I know.
This is hard because caring about people’s opinions has its benefits, is involuntary, I would argue, and has motivated me to reach new heights in all of my endeavors. That being said—it is detrimental when it comes to me questioning speaking out on things I’m passionate about because I’m afraid of being judged. It’s detrimental when I let it dictate whether or not I take Opportunity A because I’m worried what kind of people will be there, if I look good enough for it, or if someone else will care. I think this “critique” is another thin, blurry line that should be assessed carefully. The fact that it was brought to my attention at all is evidence that it is definitely hindering me in some way.
Resolution: Trust my gut, more. Consider my feelings before the opinions of others. Allow my intuition to lead me decisions.
Now that I’ve typed this whole thing out, I realize it could be seen as super conceited and self-aware. However, as a part of my “working on myself” I’m going to not super care about what you think! Ha! And also—the intent was to become better by airing my dirty laundry so that I would be held accountable to it.
Thanks for reading. One more selfie for the road,