Step One

There is an art to getting one’s head out of one’s own ass.

It comes on gradually, like a cold, and, for me, after about 22 years of fucking up.

You start realizing that you are not the special, wonder child that you parents have spent your whole life convincing you that you are. No one sees you (or treats you) in that way, anymore. No one owes you anything—not even the guys that you entertain but you know are not good enough for you. (because, who is?) Not your friends, not your coworkers, not even your parents anymore. You’re on your own, baby. And all you have is an elitist attitude and a reputation for being sheltered. Bubbles not only get popped, but you get covered in bubble residue—and you have to decide if you are going to walk around being weighed down by the remnants of your soapy shelter, or if you’re going to clean yourself off and contribute to society.

So how do you get your head out of your own ass? How do you become the kind of adult that you respect and enjoy?

Step 1 – Self Evaluation

I could tell you that Gandhi quote about being the change you want to see in the world, but, instead, I will tell you a CS Lewis quote that changed my perspective on life, forever.

“You are not a body. You have a body. You are a soul.”

Simple, no? Once you start viewing yourself for what you really are, (not black, not a woman, not an American), you have no choice but to self-evaluate.  Am I the kind of person I want to be around? Do I have good character? How do people respond to me? What have I accomplished? What am I reaching toward? What words would I use to describe myself?

If you are answering these questions with excuses or justifications (well I’m just very different. I’m just super introverted. I had a rough year, last year. I like having a small circle, anyway. I don’t care what Kelsea’s blog thinks about me)—it’s time to get some bubble residue off of yourself.

How would I describe myself? Outgoing. Positive. Personable. Very unorganized. Very generous. Brave. Adventurous. Artistic. Creative.

Those are the traits that make up my soul; my person. Those are the parts of me that make me the special, wonder child my parents have been spending my entire life trying to tell me that I am. How I use them to positively impact the world, and the souls in my world, is what really makes me stand out.

What can I get better at? My organization. My time management. Being more compassionate. Being more present. Being quicker to forgive and even quicker to apologize. Not being argumentative. Not always wanting to be right.

Take some time to self-evaluate. And for God’s sake, get your head out of your damn ass.


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