Twenty five is such a strange age, I will tell you. How do you know if you’re doing it right or not, ya know? You can’t compare yourself to your twenty-five year old friends because some of them have babies, some of them are still in school, some of them are still drunk, and some of them only pop up when they need money. Your mom was like two-kids-deep at this age. Your grandparents were like a decade into their marriage at 25. Your teachers thought you’d be a Nobel Prize Winner (or still working at Subway) by now. So what’s the gauge? How do you know if you’re semi-okay at life at this point? Cause… ya know… you’re 25. You kinda gotta get it together, right?
I’m not sure.
I’m not sure there’s a simple answer, rather. Or an all encompassing answer.
Here is definitely how not to tell, though.
- An article/quiz you saw on Facebook
- The sum of likes, follows, comments, or WHATEVER arbitrary value social media assigns to our self worth
- Comparing your 25 to anyone else’s 25
- Your job title
Here’s why I think I’m doin okay:
- The relationships in my life are fulfilling and meaningful.
- My work is challenging and draining and exciting and EXACTLY what I want to be doing.
- I am not the same person I was at 21, or 21 hours ago.
- I am not dead.
Listening To: Jah Werx by Susto
This was a random Saturday Morning find that has been stuck in my head ever since. See also, “Cool Girl” by Tove Lo.
To fill my Game of Thrones void.
Celebrating: ONE YEAR ANNY’s
- “Currently” started on Feb 11th of last year and has been among my most successful blog posts (and most fun) to date. Full disclosure, I did steal the idea from another blogger who did something similar. Art is robbery, right? The idea that anyone would be remotely interested in the stuff that I’m doing seems absurd, but such is life. Thanks for always checking these out.
- Box Braids. I did something very un-Kelsea and randomly went into an African Braiding Salon on a Saturday in January of last year and told them to transform my ear-length-fluffy-bob into “butt-length box-braids.” Four hours and $200 later, it was easily the best hair move I’ve ever made. I cannot believe I used to wake up an extra hour early to make sure I could straighten and style my hair every morning. I can barely remember the days when the weather dictated whether or not I went out of the house or not. I truly used to let a bad hair day/broken flat iron/lack of bobby pins absolutely WRECK my entire day. I know it’s a simple hair style thing to most of you. (Congrats Kels, you got your hair done a year ago. Woohoo!) But, getting my hair braided was a part of the “Screw what ANYONE thinks, I’m living for me” movement of the past 365 days, which has brought me more happiness and fulfillment than I can imagine. Instead of my day starting off in a full on battle with my hairs (and ultimately with myself)… it starts with one less thing to worry about. I am a freer, happier girl. Thanks, Spontaneous Kelsea from Last Year.
- Derek. March 14th, 2016, I send Derek a snapchat of me holding a starbucks cup with the caption, “You’re dating a basic girl.” Aka– our one year anniversary. When I think back on the butterflies and the trying-to-fight-it and the jam sessions and the omg-i-don’t-want-to-be-away-from-this-guy and the putting-on-a-pound-of-makeup-before-letting-him-see-me… it seems impossible that an entire year has gone by. But when it comes to trips “back home” to New Lex, days on the lake with the whole crew, or even random Sunday nights on the couch playing Deer Hunter– it seems like we’ve been partners and best friends for a lifetime. Derek is the greatest encourager and challenger that I’ve ever met. He’s a slap in the face wrapped in a hug, sealed with a kiss. I love who I am with him in my life. I love who he is with or without me. It’s been an amazing year and I’m looking forward to what this next one will bring. (Also, shoutout to Derek’s goddaughter who turns ONE in February, as well!)
Thinking About: Meaninglessness.
I read the entire book of Ecclesiastes last night and had a bit of an epiphany. (Is that possible? To have a “bit” of an epiphany?) Teenage, On-Fire-For-Christ, Kelsea thought she understood, completely, this book of the Bible.
King Solomon, whom God blessed with literally all the riches and bitches, at the end of his life reflects on all that he’s experienced and acquired and learned… and determines that everything is meaningless. 16-year-old me (in my infinite wisdom) believed this to mean that I, simply, shouldn’t place stock in wealth or marriage… but in Heavenly Things. To blindly follow Christ alone.
But after reading this again… with slightly older eyes… I’m reevaluating what “Meaninglessness” truly is.
I have been truly consumed with the idea of death lately. The thought that at any second, it all could be over. I hear a noise in my apartment building in the middle of the night and think, “what if someone walks in here and shoots me in the head?” I sit in Mass and think “what if someone walks in and blows this entire place up?” and not in a dramatic sense, but in a, “I cannot be sure that the next moment is guaranteed” sense. Taking that into account– what am I doing, now? What am I doing with these moments that I have? What do they count for?
Ecclesiastes, very bluntly says, nothing.
That the very few days we have “under the sun” are the work that God has given us… and yes it is hard and weird and annoying and burdensome, but that we are to enjoy them. We are to remain calm when we screw up, we are to throw away anxieties, we are to treat each other kindly… because all of this simply just does not matter.
It’s a weird thing to juggle in your head: meaninglessness. It can seem depressing as hell or it can be liberating as hell. We are all so desperate to bring meaning to this world, to this blip of time that we are alive for… but perhaps we are applying unnecessary pressure to ourselves. Perhaps the only “meaning” comes from chilling the eff out.
I would encourage you to read this book, regardless of your religious affiliations. Atheists regard this as one of their favorite books of the Bible. It’s a very humanist, real look at the world. I guarantee it will put a lot of things into perspective for you.
Eating: Macaroni and Cheese Sammy from MELT!
I ordered a “half” one of these guys… with bacon… got like 4 bites in and had to tap out. So delicious, but also just SO much food. To quote my friend Kelly DeNiro, “How do they expect you to eat fries with that?!”
Looking For: something to wear to SXSW in March!
That’s right bishes and fishes: I’m going to SXSW. Shoutout, Slings and Arrows + Women in Digital. This is my first “South by” experience and to say I’m looking forward to it would be the understatement of the century. But, it’s hot in Texas in March, yeah? What’s a girl to pack?
Supporting: Date 2 Remember and #OHIOConnect
…because these two amazing orgs are supporting me!
FIRST: Date2Remember is a live auction/stage production/night out that supports Make-A-Wish and Columbus Inspires. It’ll be hosted at the Hollywood Casino in Columbus on 2.25.2017. I am a decently large part of the on stage production as the Female Lead. There will be a solo and a dance production and plenty of laughs. Please come out and watch me make a fool of myself, while supporting an amazing cause. (BUY TICKETS. MORE INFO)
Amplified Communications at OU is hosting ya girl as a panelist for their networking night in March. Does this make me a Bobcat, officially, yet? Because… the amount of connections I have to OU, I’m starting to wonder if I really went there in another life. Hmm…
Wearing: My Nikes!
Santa didn’t want me to be basic and ignored my request or some white adidas superstars. Instead, he gifted me some sick white Nikes that I have already worn to death. But, I can’t help it. I love them. They go with all the things.
Drinking: La Croix.
You thought my coffee addiction was bad…
In Need Of… Public Speaking Opportunities.
This is an area of my life and career that I am desperate to explore and perfect. If you need someone to speak at anything about anything I do (blogging, digital marketing, writing, social media, women’s rights and activism, civil rights, networking, living with a coffee addiction, struggling with getting out of bed in the morning… WHATEVER) holler atchya girl. firstname.lastname@example.org