Currently

Here’s an abbreviated version of everything I’m #CURRENTLY. Check out my new YouTube channel for more videos and don’t forget to like, comment and subscribe!

Feeling: BETTER

If you ready my last post On Interdependence, follow me on Twitter, or have been a fly on the wall in my home– you know that I’ve been struggling for the past couple of weeks. Here’s the abbreviated version: I went on a work trip, came home, and felt like an alien in my own body. I was sitting on my couch and staring at Derek and living my life but not feeling and existing in the way that I used to. I was overcome with sadness and apathy. I slept and ate nothing and cried. For 3 days. Happy to report that I’m feeling better — but still dealing with some anxiety and general feelings of just not feeling like myself. This is all hard to explain and even harder to navigate, but here’s what I truly believe has got me like 85-90% back to normal:

  • Derek. There are kind, selfless, humans in this world, and then there is Derek. The only way I can describe his love, patience, and empathy is through hyperboles like  “limitless” and “unconditional.” He loves me like family. Almost like it’s wired into his DNA. Almost like it’s second nature or just what he’s supposed to do. Through every mood, every low, every tear, every kiss, every fight, every laugh. He is a consistent, solid, unshakeably kind and loving mountain. I’m certain I’ve done nothing in this life to deserve him– yet, there he is, always on my horizon. Always gracing my sky. Always shielding me. This experience has given me endless empathy for those who struggle daily with mental health issues. It’s given me the same emotions for those without a Derek Mountain in their world. How do they get through the day? I’ll never know.
  • Routine. Getting out of bed, (the arduous task that it is) stepping on the mat to do yoga, sipping coffee, putting on work clothes. Submitting to the motions, even if that’s all they are… it helps so much.
  • The Grace of God. When I take stock of my life, what I’ve been through and how richly I’ve been blessed, I can only conclude two things: One. there is a King with endless mercies showing me unconditional, unending love, with a plan for my life. Two. There are souls, pleading with this King on my behalf. Souls of unswerving hope. Souls with pure hearts and clear minds. Souls like my grandmother. I believe, (like in my bones and in my belly and when I close my eyes and when no one is around) that this King’s love for me and love for those who beg Him nightly to show me favor, have brought me out of this darkness. And can bring me through anything.

Listening To: Anberlin

Listen, Anberlin is my jam. This band is comfortably sitting in my Top 5 Favorite Bands of All THYME! Why? I think 70% is the nostalgic factor. I grew up on Never Take Friendship Personal. And seeing them on their FINAL tour, was legendary. I love this band. I forget about them all the time. But they will always hold a very special place in my heart.

Watching: Bojack, Vice Principals, USMNT

Celebrating: FALL Y’ALL

 

 

I’m a lifelong fall hater. Here’s why:

  1. It doesn’t last long in Columbus, OH. It’s like a cool 12 seconds and then it’s winter for 6 months.
  2. I’m not a huge football fan? I mean, I love Ohio State as much as the next Buckeye, but I don’t understand American Football for like… a second.
  3. I hate socks. Random fact about me. You kinda have to wear socks like daily, beginning in this season.
  4. I don’t like scary movies. I don’t like being scared.
  5. I don’t look cute in hoodies.
  6. Bonfires are cool, but even better in the summer, imo.

So, when I was asked to do a photo shoot at a Pumpkin Patch and be as “Fall as possible” there was a huge “le sigh.” However, something about being completely immersed made it kind of attractive to me. And the icing on the pumpkin-flavored cupcake was spending the day watching Derek’s goddaughter explore the same pumpkin patch/apple orchard.

reagy

Maybe fall ain’t so bad after all, ya know?

Thinking About:

Marriage and Babies — if you watched the video, you know that “that’s just where we are,” right now. We talk about our future kids like they’re in the next room. It’s weird but it’s awesome. Derek and I talk about what we’re worried about in regards to our future children in the video below:

 

Writing a Book– if I had a quarter for every time my Mom told me I need to “get started on my book,” I would have enough money to hire someone else to write it. I have been reading more, lately, which is (in my mind) preparing me to write a solid, New York Times Bestseller. Just wait on it, guys.

 

My Career– I’m obviously deep in the digital marketing world. I love it here. Truly. I love writing. I love social media. I love the psychology behind marketing. Love it all. But what’s the end game for me? My own digital marketing agency? That’s what it always used to be– but now that I’ve seen what that actually looks like, do I still want that? I don’t know.

 

Eating: BIBIBOP Asian Grill

boppin

Do it for the culture.

 

Looking For: A House

 

For a second there, D and I were knee deep in the weeds of mortgages and home ownership. We’ve since calmed down about it, since we’re in a lease until the summer anyway — but I’d be lying if I said we don’t still hop on zillow and see what’s out there.

 

Supporting: Eminem.

 

Any questions?

 

Wearing: LIPSTICK BITCHES

image-uploaded-from-ios-49.jpg

Drinking: La Croix and Coffee

I’ve decided to be a La Croix for Halloween this year. More to come on that.

 

In Need Of: Your Love!

As I venture out into every crazy facet of my life, your love and support is all I need. Thanks for riding with  me through everything. I hope I can reciprocate.

 

THAT’S ALL FOLKS!

Advertisements

Currently

Image uploaded from iOS (32)

Feeling: Healthy?!


I have always been the chick that can eat McDonald’s for breakfast, Wendy’s for lunch, and drink my dinner and still be under 120lbs. No matter what. No cardio, no lifting, no semi-fast walking, no nothing. My mom has always told me, “just wait until you turn thirty” or “wait until you have kids.” (Implying that my Baconator diet would eventually fail me.) She was right.

I am not going to sit here and tell you guys that I think I’m fat, or that my weight has ever been anything I struggled with. (In fact my coworker told me that I need a “diet” like he needs a new butthole. lol) But, when you walk inside of your own body everyday for 25 years, you notice the subtle differences. Like when your thighs are rubbing together all of a sudden. Or your face is looking rounder/fuller in photos. Or those high-waisted jeans you love give you a little bit of a… dare I say… muffin top!

So, naturally, I turned to the healthiest person I know, Derek.

I’ve listened to him tell me about the Ketogenic diet for months, now. I’ve even read blogs about it and published medical studies. It was always kind of “the thing Derek did.” But I decided to make it the thing Kelsea does, too.

(This isn’t the first time I’ve “decided to turn my life around.” It usually last 12 seconds.)

That being said, I have been chilling WAY out on the carbs and intermittent fasting from time to time (not eating until noon, and not eating after 6pm). I’ve also been occasionally starting my day with some yoga! (Fede… be proud!) I’ve only been at this for a week, but I’m already down a handful of pounds, and, more importantly, just feeling better overall. My clothes are fitting the way they did when I bought them. My thighs aren’t rubbing together anymore. (lol) I don’t wake up completely unable to function until I’ve had coffee, (<– accomplishment of the century if you ask me.)


So what’s made this lifestyle change different than the others?

Well– I have Derek, which has made every avenue of my life different/better/healthier/more exciting. But I’ve also just adopted the mindset that I’m going to take this one meal at a time. It’s hard because my brain, for 25 years, has been wired to, “Oh man, I’m hungry. Where will I stop to get food?”” Now, i’m trying to re-train it to sing a totally different song. It’s a process and it’s not always easy and I’m not always on cloud 9. But I’m digging it right now.

Listening To: Brittnee

12829244_10153978579239458_1223180537000144451_o.jpg

You know how as soon as I was like “I gotta get healthy” I turned to Derek? Cause he’s an expert? Cause it was the smart thing to do? When I need to refocus my long-term goals, my blogging goals, my “omg-I’m-losing-who-I-am” stuff, WHATEVER — Brittnee is my go-to. She’s the ultimate hypebeast. She sings my praises in the softest, most sincere key. She subtley nudges me in the directions I need to go. (Uhh… time to be a homeowner, I guess?) And she’s just slaying life. I want to be her when I grow up, for real.

Watching: Bachelor In Paradise

Image result for bachelor in paradise

For the record, no longer a Dean fan. ALSO: when the heck are we getting a new Bachelor?!

Celebrating: FALL 

Image result for i hate fall

Not gonna tell you that I love Fall. Cause I don’t. Mostly because it lasts for 12 seconds and then it’s winter. (Hashtag, life in Ohio.) But I do love right now. Late summer. Crisp mornings, slightly shorter (but not too short) days, the start of The English Premier League (GO GUNNERS), open windows, fires, light jackets and dark lipstick. Mmmm… I love ya ALMOST fall!

Thinking About: What I’d Spend $758 Million On…

I posed this question to my Facebook Family.

FB

Your answers ranged from a personal chef to a lifetime supply of beef jerky. Pretty much everyone wants to pay off student loans, (except Aaron who actually just wants to go back to school forever) and take care of their family. There’s a lot of dog sanctuaries and country homes and world travel happening in this dream world, as well. I sat down and tried to work out what I would truly do with all of that money, and even after taking the lump sum and paying taxes (down to $360M) I still couldn’t even spend 50% of it. SERIOUSLY. I bought Derek and I a mansion in Grandview, paid off the student loans of everyone reading this blog, sent 3 imaginary kids to college and private school, bought us hella cars and clothes… and I was only down to like $200M.

I think its safe to say that we can plan and dream, but we will ultimately never know what we would do with all of that money. And probably for the better. Would my laid back evenings on the couch with Derek be the same if I hadn’t put in 8 hours in the office to pay for that comfy-ass leather sectional? Would weekend mornings “sleeping in” until 8a and drinking coffee on the back porch be as precious if I didn’t wake up early during the week? Would I appreciate this life, this blog, these friends, this everything–if I hadn’t put in some sort of work for any of them? I don’t know. And I don’t want to know.

Eating: PEPPERONI

We talked about the keto life that I’m easing my way into. Here’s what I’ve been eating:

Morning: XL Dark Roast from TIm Hortons (with whipped cream! OMG Gamechanger!) When not intermittent fasting, a sausage patty and slice of cheese, also from Timmy’s.

Lunch: Salad– romaine lettuce, pepperoni, cheese, ranch, LA CROIX. Went to PF Changs one day and got Hot & Sour Soup. (YUM!) Also went to The Eagle one day and got pulled pork without the bun. Also YUM!

Snack: cheese sticks + peppronis.. (i like ‘em, okay?)

Dinner: Salmon + Broccoli, Pork Chops and Salad, one day I just had a decaf cold brew for dinner. (<– that actually wasn’t a terrible dinner.)

Looking For: Clothes For Our NOLA Trip!

Image result for new orleans la

Derek and I booked a trip to NOLA in November! To say I’m excited is an understatement. But, now, the never ending question that I have in every facet of life: WHAT DO I WEAR?!

Supporting: Non Racists?

Hahhaa… cuz… duh!

Wearing: Humility

 

I had the coolest thing happen the other day. A totally random chick sent me a DM on Instagram. It was a photo of her and her daughter. She proceeded to tell me that she had randomly stumbled onto my Instagram, and subsequently, my blog.  [enter nervous Kelsea]

She goes on to say that she had been nervous about getting box braids for her daughter  who is the only minority in her middle school because she didn’t want her to get teased or labeled as “too ethnic.” [been there, girl.]

BUT– after seeing my IG and reading my blog, she pulled the trigger. [WHAT?! Holy cow!]

So naturally, I’m flipping out. “Omg. What?! I’m so glad you went ahead with it. She’s gorgeous” blah blah blah.

She goes on to say that her daughter asks her to see pictures of “that beautiful girl that has skin like mine.”

OH. MY. GOD.

Image result for omg

Guys.

If you knew how hard I used to fold my little third grade hands together in my bedroom and how tightly I’d shut my eyelids and how FERVENTLY I would pray to God to just please make white. Make my hair do the stuff my classmate’s hair does. Make people stop asking me why my knees are always ashy and why my nose is shaped like that and why my lips are so big. Make my life less weird. Make me less noticeable. Make me not different.

GOD! PLEASE!

It took me almost 24 years to get to a place where I am cool with who Kelsea is, inside, outside, and everywhere in between.

24 years!!

Image result for 24 years

I don’t want anyone in the world to have to wait that long to love themselves. And if my selfies and my stupid blog have helped a little girl get closer to that place, then HALLELUJAH!

God uses all of us. Where we are. With what little we have.

Drinking: La Croix + Coffee

Duh!

In Need Of: Prayers

What seem our worst prayers may really be, in God’s eyes, our best. Those, I mean, which are least supported by devotional feeling. For these may come from a deeper level than feeling. God sometimes seems to speak to us most intimately when he catches us, as it were, off our guard.

C. S. Lewis

That’s all I’ve got:


Kels.

 

God uses all of us.Where we are..png

Currently

I am winding down on the tail end of 25 and I have to say, it’s been a glorious age. I was terrified to be this old and now (as is the case with all of my fears) I’m not sure what I was so stressed out about. But before I get closer to the magical, car-insurance-dropping age of 26, here is everything I am currently…

Feeling: Settled.

Derek and I have just moved into our new home together and… guess what?! It feels exactly the same. (lol.) We both keep getting asked if anything is different or “what it’s like” to live together… and (so far) neither one of us has noticed a difference, other than an undying urge to decorate and several trips to Target a day. Maybe in a month I’ll be writing to you about how totally different our relationship is, but I highly doubt it. The only real change is that we have more room for all of our things and are splitting bills. So. Win win.

 

Listening To: Momma.

You know by now that my Mom is my No. 1 source of counsel and wisdom as I walk through life. Luckily, she’s only a call or text away. She’s so much of an authority on all things life that I recycle her advice for my other friends and confidants. I always get a “your mom told you that?” or a “Is your mom a psychiatrist?” or even a “can I call your mom?” Here’s why she’s my go-to for every facet of life:

 

  • She, legitimately, has my best interest at heart. Her counsel is never self-serving. It is always selfless and intended to better me. I can rely on that, whole-heartedly.
  • She’s been through it all. From crazy jobs to car wrecks… sometimes just hearing he say “Oh, that’s happened to me a million times. It’s normal,” is like exactly what I need to hear. #clickitorticket
  • She knows me. Inside and out. Backwards and front. She can predetermine how I will probably approach a situation and advise me against myself before I even know I’m being stupid. Magic, right?
  • She’s my cheerleader. (Always has been.) Every tiny accomplishment is refridgerator-worthy in her eyes. And all the time sometimes I just need a “OMG you’re seriously SO amazing!”

 

This is not to say that I have a super traditional relationship with my Mom. (Cause I don’t.) I’m not at her house every Sunday night or on the phone with her every two seconds. She doesn’t jump at the opportunity to do my laundry or buy me stuff. We don’t have matching tattoos or necklaces or bracelets. (Are these aspects of a traditional Mom-daughter relationship, or do I just have weird friends?) But I would not trade what she and I have for anything. I can see, now, (finally) why she was never the Mom I thought I wanted. I can see why sometimes her answer to my cry was “figure it out.” She was grooming me. Preparing me. Teaching me. Loving me. And I am so thankful, everyday, for her unconditional love. For her unconditionally TOUGH love.

 

 

Watching: Homeland

homeland-tv-show

When I tell you that I am hook-line-and-sinker for this show, I truly mean it. Carrie is the craziest character I can recall ever “rooting” for in my 25 years of TV watching. Saul is a saint amongst carnal idiots, and Brody… well… nevermind. If you’re 6 years late to this masterpiece of writing and acting like I am, I encourage you to sign up for Hulu and start watching. You… won’t be able to stop.

 

 

 

Celebrating: Dennis + Marie’s Wedding!

 

18301974_10213317570000481_7500397209842199466_n.jpg

 

I’ve been waiting for this wedding… for way too long. (Says the girl who isn’t planning it or getting married.) I just know it’s going to be so flipping fun! Also, I always consider it a HUGE honor when I get invited to a wedding. Here’s what’s really cool to me about being invited to and/or apart of someone’s big day:

  • The Responsibility — weddings are essentially you gathering your entire network together, throwing them a lavish party, and declaring your love for one person, forever. And for us Christians, it’s asking everyone in attendance to hold the bride and groom accountable to their vows, to pray for their union, and to be an example. No small task, but one I appreciate.
  • The Cost — obvs, weddings ain’t cheap. Thanks for telling me I’m worth $85, or whatever it costs you to feed and booze me.
  • The Memories — we all know by now how much memories are worth to me. (MORE THAN GOLD!) There may not be a more memorable event in two people’s’ lives than their wedding day. A fuzzy image of me doing the Cha-Cha-Slide in the background of those fond thoughts is more than I could ever ask for.

 

 

 

 

So if you ever send me a wedding invite, (whether I RSVP in a timely fashion or not), I truly appreciate you letting me be apart of something so monumental. (And I will be on the dance floor!)

 

Thinking About: BABIES!

 

Oh, sweet reader of the blog, you read that word right. I. Been. Thinking. About. BABIES. That might be TMI, but the whole point of this blog is vulnerability, and, frankly, catharsis. So, there you have it. Babies are on my mind all the time. What mine would look like. What I’d name them. What I’d look like pregnant. If I’d breast-feed or not. How many I want. What gender I want. How I’d raise them. What I’d teach them. Where they’d go to school. Where they’d go to college. What my baby shower would look like. Walking around Giant Eagle with a kid on my hip. Driving a mini-van. Getting a Mom-Bob. Car-seats. Nurseries. Etc. Etc. Etc.

Now, let me set the stage for why this is a big deal. (I will do this with a bulleted list as I have clearly grown very fond of these.)

  • Never wanted ‘em.. Ask any and everyone I went to grades 4 through college with. I’ve always told everyone that kids were just not my thing, and that I would much rather travel the world with my husband or retire early or whatever! I’ve never wanted to deal with pregnancy. Never wanted to do the whole labor thing. And then RAISING a kid? All I ever saw were 10 million cons and a handful of pros. Not. Worth. It. And you know what made it worse? Everyone telling me I would change my mind. That made me want to prove them all wrong so badly that I swore to myself that even if I ever did change my mind, I still wouldn’t have a kid. Just.. to be petty.

 

  • Not ready for ‘em. Ha. Obviously. I’m not even ready for a dog. Or a house plant. Or fresh produce. I can’t have a kid. I can’t be responsible for someone’s entire life. But… gahhhh they’re so freaking cute.
  • Nothing to blame. My biological clock is not ticking. I’m not swimming in pregnant friends or babies. Hell, my mom has even eased up on asking me when she gets to be a grandma. So how come everytime I close my eyes to go to sleep, I see myself in a milk bath with surrounded by rose petals, rubbing my enormous baby bump?!

 

 

 

I’m going to blame the whole “I-found-the-right-guy-and-I’m-super-in-love” thing? Or maybe the whole “we-built-a-home-together-what-else-can-we-create?” thing…

Or maybe the “I’m-twenty-five-and-every-other-plan-I-had-for-myself-at-this-age-was-wrong-so-why-not-kids?” … thing. Who knows. Don’t worry… I’m not planning on making one tomorrow. Just letting yall know… they’re on my mind.

 

 

Eating: Hot Dogs. (On the grill, baby!)

 

hot-dogs-on-the-grill-baby

 

Looking For: Patience

 

Where did mine go? I can feel it draining from me every evening like losing a buzz or a sugar high. I wake up positive enough, but by 5pm, I am void of almost all of the fruits of my character. My patience, my joy, my kindness, my love. I am quick to anger and justified, entitled and irritable. And the worst thing about it all is that I can tell. I can hear myself being judgmental, I can see myself being stand-offish. Maybe I’m just moody, maybe I’m just going through something, maybe I’m just spiritually not sound. I’m working on it, yall. I’m a work in progress, always and forever.

 

Supporting: Black Creatives

 

 

I’m in a lot of “groups.” (Why the quotation marks, Kels? Great question.) Because the groups I’m in all serve a purpose. They’re all meant to be a community. A sounding board. A union of like minded people who edify one another. As a result, the groups foster vulnerability and openness.

I am often the only person (or of a small minority) who looks like me in said groups. Even in the women’s groups or the creative groups or the digital groups. And, don’t get me wrong, I am all about finding your tribe and loving them hard. I love my tribe. I love the women and the creatives and the nerds that I get to hang out with in all of my groups. I am vulnerable with them just as I am with you. I open up to them and I listen to them. And listening to the struggles and triumphs of people who look nothing like you, I think, is one of the most powerful, intelligent things you can do.  But I would love to be a part of one group (just one) where I am not in the minority. (Why does that even matter, Kels? Great question.)

 

Think about it, and answer honestly. How many times have you walked into a room, driven onto a street, or entered an event, a job interview, a networking function, whatever, and been the only ___ person. The only white person. The only female person. The only digital marketing person. The only young person. Whatever.

 

You notice it right away. It sticks to you like humid air. It’s not bad, but it’s, there. It’s on your mind and on your face. You’re different. You stick out. Everyone here probably has some preconceived notion about you. Your insecurities heighten. You can’t be your best self. Your natural self.

 

That is pretty much every day of my entire life.

 

Imagine trying to be creative in that environment. Or extroverted. Or genuine. It’s… hard. It’s unnatural. It doesn’t come easily.

 

I know that the Creative Community (at least in Columbus, and from what I can tell, the nation) is not home to a lot of POC (people of color). I just want to change that.

Stay tuned for how I’m going to do that.

 

 

Wearing: Strength and Dignity.

SOF-Proverbs-31-25-web-1

 

“She is clothed in strength and dignity. She can laugh at the days to come.” Proverbs 31:25

Coming from a lifetime of Christian education, I am fascinated by the verses in the Bible that seem to “go viral.” The ones that become Marilyn Monroe posters on every girl’s living room wall. John 3:16. Philippians 3:14. Psalm 23. These are the verses that end up in Instagram bios and foot tattoos. (No offense if you have one, they’re dope verses.) Why are they so popular? Why do the resonate with people who don’t even subscribe to this religion?

 

I have no idea. (Well, I have some ideas, but this blog post is already like 18 pages.) But I can tell you why Proverbs 31:25 resonates with me.

 

The Proverbs 31 “Woman” (I’m not sure why I used quotation marks there, don’t ask me) is not necessarily something I can say I have aspired to be. The entire passage talks a lot about submitting to your husband and caring for the children and being a good homemaker. Which are great virtues, but have never necessarily appealed to me. (Don’t worry, God’s not gonna strike me down. We’ve already chatted about this.)  And, honestly, I think I can still be the Proverbs 31 Woman without kids or a husband, and with a full time job.

 

Because the Proverbs 31 Woman is strong and dignified. She places her trust not only in The Lord but in the values and beliefs she holds. In her work ethic. In her capabilities. In the partner she’s chosen. In whatever season of life she’s in. She laughs at the days to come because she knows she is doing all she can to make them great, and the rest just isn’t up to her. And probably because she has a super cute laugh and a gorgeous smile.

 

So I am “wearing” strength and dignity, for now. For as long as I can. And I’m laughing at the future as it comes.

 

 

 

Drinking: Tim Hortons XL Coffee. (shot of espresso)

 

 

Currently, as I type this.

 

 

 

In Need Of: An Interior Designer

 

 

Moving in with Derek has been amazing. And, honestly, I think our place looks awesome. (Photos above.) But I wish I had that designers eye to like take it up another notch, you know? I wish I could walk into Target and say “Yes, we should get that gold lamp because it will tie in the gold thingie we have in this vase and the legs on the coffee table.” But… I can’t. I just say “this is cute and it’s the same color as the rug so let’s get it.” Meh.

 

 

That’s all I’ve got. What are you #Currently?
laptop

 

 

Currently

Feeling:  Okay

Twenty five is such a strange age, I will tell you. How do you know if you’re doing it right or not, ya know? You can’t compare yourself to your twenty-five year old friends because some of them have babies, some of them are still in school, some of them are still drunk, and some of them only pop up when they need money. Your mom was like two-kids-deep at this age. Your grandparents were like a decade into their marriage at 25. Your teachers thought you’d be a Nobel Prize Winner (or still working at Subway) by now.  So what’s the gauge? How do you know if you’re semi-okay at life at this point? Cause… ya know… you’re 25. You kinda gotta get it together, right?

I’m not sure.

I’m not sure there’s a simple answer, rather. Or an all encompassing answer.

Here is definitely how not to tell, though.

  1. An article/quiz you saw on Facebook
  2. The sum of likes, follows, comments, or WHATEVER arbitrary value social media assigns to our self worth
  3. Comparing your 25 to anyone else’s 25
  4. Your job title

 

Here’s why I think I’m doin okay:

  1. The relationships in my life are fulfilling and meaningful.
  2. My work is challenging and draining and exciting and EXACTLY what I want to be doing.
  3. I am not the same person I was at 21, or 21 hours ago.
  4. I am not dead.

 

Listening To: Jah Werx by Susto

This was a random Saturday Morning find that has been stuck in my head ever since. See also, “Cool Girl” by Tove Lo.

Watching: Vikings

To fill my Game of Thrones void.

Celebrating: ONE YEAR ANNY’s

  1. “Currently” started on Feb 11th of last year and has been among my most successful blog posts (and most fun) to date. Full disclosure, I did steal the idea from another blogger who did something similar. Art is robbery, right? The idea that anyone would be remotely interested in the stuff that I’m doing seems absurd, but such is life. Thanks for always checking these out.
  2. Box Braids. I did something very un-Kelsea and randomly went into an African Braiding Salon on a Saturday in January of last year and told them to transform my ear-length-fluffy-bob into “butt-length box-braids.” Four hours and $200 later, it was easily the best hair move I’ve ever made.12644778_10208847682736093_8488616858458914418_n (1).jpg I cannot believe I used to wake up an extra hour early to make sure I could straighten and style my hair every morning. I can barely remember the days when the weather dictated whether or not I went out of the house or not. I truly used to let a bad hair day/broken flat iron/lack of bobby pins absolutely WRECK my entire day. I know it’s a simple hair style thing to most of you. (Congrats Kels, you got your hair done a year ago. Woohoo!) But, getting my hair braided was a part of the “Screw what ANYONE thinks, I’m living for me” movement of the past 365 days, which has brought me more happiness and fulfillment than I can imagine. Instead of my day starting off in a full on battle with my hairs (and ultimately with myself)… it starts with one less thing to worry about. I am a freer, happier girl. Thanks, Spontaneous Kelsea from Last Year.
  3. Derek. March 14th, 2016, I send Derek a snapchat of me holding a starbucks cup with the caption, “You’re dating a basic girl.” Aka– our one year anniversary. When I think back on the butterflies and the trying-to-fight-it and the jam sessions and the omg-i-don’t-want-to-be-away-from-this-guy and the putting-on-a-pound-of-makeup-before-letting-him-see-me… it seems impossible that an entire year has gone by. 13445780_10210077193513094_333843497984357419_n.jpgBut when it comes to trips “back home” to New Lex, days on the lake with the whole crew, or even random Sunday nights on the couch playing Deer Hunter– it seems like we’ve been partners and best friends for a lifetime. Derek is the greatest encourager and challenger that I’ve ever met. He’s a slap in the face wrapped in a hug, sealed with a kiss. I love who I am with him in my life. I love who he is with or without me. It’s been an amazing year and I’m looking forward to what this next one will bring. (Also, shoutout to Derek’s goddaughter who turns ONE in February, as well!)

 

Thinking About: Meaninglessness.

I read the entire book of Ecclesiastes last night and had a bit of an epiphany. (Is that possible? To have a “bit” of an epiphany?) Teenage, On-Fire-For-Christ, Kelsea thought she understood, completely, this book of the Bible.

King Solomon, whom God blessed with literally all the riches and bitches, at the end of his life reflects on all that he’s experienced and acquired and learned… and determines that everything is meaningless. 16-year-old me (in my infinite wisdom) believed this to mean that I, simply, shouldn’t place stock in wealth or marriage… but in Heavenly Things. To blindly follow Christ alone.

But after reading this again… with slightly older eyes… I’m reevaluating what “Meaninglessness” truly is.


I have been truly consumed with the idea of death lately. The thought that at any second, it all could be over. I hear a noise in my apartment building in the middle of the night and think, “what if someone walks in here and shoots me in the head?” I sit in Mass and think “what if someone walks in and blows this entire place up?” and not in a dramatic sense, but in a, “I cannot be sure that the next moment is guaranteed” sense. Taking that into account– what am I doing, now? What am I doing with these moments that I have? What do they count for?

 

Ecclesiastes, very bluntly says, nothing.

 

That the very few days we have “under the sun” are the work that God has given us… and yes it is hard and weird and annoying and burdensome, but that we are to enjoy them. We are to remain calm when we screw up, we are to throw away anxieties, we are to treat each other kindly… because all of this simply just does not matter.

 

It’s a weird thing to juggle in your head: meaninglessness. It can seem depressing as hell or it can be liberating as hell. We are all so desperate to bring meaning to this world, to this blip of time that we are alive for… but perhaps we are applying unnecessary pressure to ourselves. Perhaps the only “meaning” comes from chilling the eff out.

 

I would encourage you to read this book, regardless of your religious affiliations. Atheists regard this as one of their favorite books of the Bible. It’s a very humanist, real look at the world. I guarantee it will put a lot of things into perspective for you.

 

Eating: Macaroni and Cheese Sammy from MELT!

16442832_10212345226892511_1847925203_o

I ordered a “half” one of these guys… with bacon… got like 4 bites in and had to tap out. So delicious, but also just SO much food. To quote my friend Kelly DeNiro, “How do they expect you to eat fries with that?!”

 

Looking For: something to wear to SXSW in March!  

screen-shot-2017-01-31-at-2-25-39-pm

That’s right bishes and fishes: I’m going to SXSW. Shoutout, Slings and Arrows + Women in Digital. This is my first “South by” experience and to say I’m looking forward to it would be the understatement of the century. But, it’s hot in Texas in March, yeah? What’s a girl to pack?

 

Supporting: Date 2 Remember and #OHIOConnect

…because these two amazing orgs are supporting me!

15272176_10103878933283454_657288414275485822_o.jpg

FIRST: Date2Remember is a live auction/stage production/night out that supports Make-A-Wish and Columbus Inspires. It’ll be hosted at the Hollywood Casino in Columbus on 2.25.2017. I am a decently large part of the on stage production as the Female Lead. There will be a solo and a dance production and plenty of laughs. Please come out and watch me make a fool of myself, while supporting an amazing cause. (BUY TICKETS. MORE INFO)

screen-shot-2017-01-31-at-2-28-02-pm

Amplified Communications at OU is hosting ya girl as a panelist for their networking night in March. Does this make me a Bobcat, officially, yet? Because… the amount of connections I have to OU, I’m starting to wonder if I really went there in another life. Hmm…

 

Wearing: My Nikes!

16389303_10212345229612579_739718056_oscreen-shot-2017-01-31-at-2-29-55-pm

Santa didn’t want me to be basic and ignored my request or some white adidas superstars. Instead, he gifted me some sick white Nikes that I have already worn to death. But, I can’t help it. I love them. They go with all the things.

 

Drinking: La Croix.

You thought my coffee addiction was bad…

 

In Need Of… Public Speaking Opportunities.

15665484_10211895548690837_3622082178857485471_n-1

This is an area of my life and career that I am desperate to explore and perfect. If you need someone to speak at anything about anything I do (blogging, digital marketing, writing, social media, women’s rights and activism, civil rights, networking, living with a coffee addiction, struggling with getting out of bed in the morning… WHATEVER) holler atchya girl. kelsea@kelseagunner.com

 

8810285-21935128_7-s1-v1.pngcropped-kwiggz.png

 

Currently

Feeling: Ambitious. (Finally)

Ooooh… there’s a buzzword.

Wale (yes, the rapper) had a song forever ago called “Ambitious Girl.” Actually it came out in 2010, which, was a humungous year for me. HUGE. This is the year that I was supposed to graduate High School. The year that I watched all the friends I’ve had since 4th grade walk across the stage while I sat in the audience with their parents. I had graduated early, opting out of graduation and a traditional senior year, and had already been attending the University of Kentucky. I had so many friends in Kentucky. I had a community there. A home. Plans.  I was going to major in English. I was going to move to London and write. That was it. No one could tell me no.

This is also the year my parent’s got divorced. The year I decided to not go back to Kentucky, to my community of friends. To my plans. To my future. 2010 was the year everything I knew about myself and my family completely went up in flames.

The year 2010 was the year I met and started dating my first real boyfriend. He introduced me to the Wale song. He said it described me perfectly. That he was so in love with who I had the potential to be.

However, I spent the next three years of my life being anything but ambitious. I spent it settling. I spent it very poorly coping with life, wasting away at a corporate job that I hated, raising someone else’s kid, being someone that I was absolutely never supposed to be.

And when I finally found the courage to get myself out of a miserable life of settling – I subconsciously began chasing more of the same. A boyfriend. A family. My ambition was comfort.

And when I had the courage to break out of that mindset, I finally spent my time being young and single and crazy. (Olentangy Commons, what up.) My ambition was alcohol and freedom.

Fast forward to 2016—a measly six years after that stupid song came out. Six years after someone used that word “ambitious” to describe me—and I finally feel worthy of that word. I finally feel that way about myself.

Everything I want for myself is in my grasp. It’s attainable. It’s not lost in the haze of inexperience, or tangled up in a dead-end relationship. It’s constantly being nourished and caressed. I no longer spend my time with people that don’t encourage my ambition. I no longer look for how I can make the most money, but how I can be most fulfilled. My plans are no longer vague fairy tales in a place I’ve never been. They are detailed road maps with experienced drivers and wise mentors. I finally finally finally feel like I can get to where I’ve always wanted to go.

My ambition is my career, my passions, my legacy.

Longwinded answer, I know.

Listening To:

Chance the Rapper performance of Blessings on Fallon. (Chills.)

JoJo – “Say Love” which I recommend to any girl that’s ever been with a fuckboi ever. Listen with headphones, full blast.

Emeli Sande – “Hurts” which just sounds so different than her other stuff. And I always appreciate when artists mix it up.

NAO – “Bad Blood” (sweet vocals + a little weird/quirky + a lot catchy) Video is NSFW

Watching:

This Ted Talk about how our gender is determined by a LOT of other things than whether or not we have a wiener. Seriously. If you’ve ever been confused about why people decide to change their gender or “identify” as another gender—watch this Ted Talk. It is not fluff and pillows and sweet words. It’s science and data and anatomy.

Celebrating:

THE FUCKING RETURN OF FUCKING GILMORE GIRLS!!!!

gallery-1453937804-mcx-ggdfsdfsddiet-index

Confession, I’ve never actually finished the series, so I’ve been doing so now. I always stopped during the Logan era. So I am like knee-deep in Season 6 on Netflix right meow and Holy. Grandma. I am so pumped for this Netflix special. Netflix does understand that it’s entire service is going to completely crash on November 25th, right?

Thinking About:

  • Turning 25. What that means. Where I’m supposed to be in my life at 25. (My mom was married and giving birth to my older brother at 25. I’m supposed to be doing that, too, right? Maybe not. Who knows.)
  • The fundamental differences between Catholicism and Protestantism. I’ve spent my entire life as a practicing Protestant/Christian. My entire education (like, from Nursery/Pre-School – Graduating High School) has been tied up in Christianity and the doctrine of the Bible. Then I meet this Derek guy and start going to Mass with him. I guess I just need some clarity on what the gray areas are. Everything I’ve experienced in Mass, so far, has been amazing. I love saying the Nicene Creed, which I would’ve never understood or known the history behind without the years of Christian-school-education. I appreciate the traditional aspects, thanks to spending years and years in a very traditional southern Baptist church. Communion is something I rarely did in my protestant life, so that’s interesting to me as well. Like I said—I’m intrigued. I obviously don’t think I’m making a bad or wrong decision either way, but I would love to know as much about Catholicism as I do about Protestantism… which is about 13+ years of education. So… good luck to me, yah?
  • Vlogging. Still… I feel like vlogging + working out have been on my list of “thinking abouts” for a good 15 million years. I honestly need to just have a long hard look at myself in the mirror, get off my butt, and commit myself to doing both. Would you guys be interesting in seeing videos (whether here or on YouTube) of my daily life with work + Derek + friends + fam + etc? Let me know!
  • Modeling?

I’ve been approached by friends who are very kind that ask me to model for stuff, like Open Hand Leather Goods and The BBTee. I was a toddler model back in the day. Could be a cool side-hustle. Plus, all my mom’s friends in Akron are convinced that I’m like a full-time working model anyway. Lawlz.

Eating:

Listen. Columbus folk. I don’t know if you’ve ever eaten at The Walrus but they have these short-rib sliders that have completely transformed my life. (Completely.) I Uber-Eats these guys like once-a-week, at least.

(cc: Walrus Lobster Mac n Cheese)

Looking For:

A GD LEATHER JACKET! Will someone help me with this? Won’t someone uncover that ONE taupe, faux-leather jacket that fit me perfectly that I found on the clearance rack at Forever 21 in high school? I NEED SOMETHING TO WEAR WHEN IT’S COLD WHICH IS ALL THE TIME NOW!!!

Supporting: Girlz.

slack-for-ios-upload-27

  • A slow (extremely slow) reprisal of #Gunnergirls on this very website. (Email me your submissions!)
  • CbusChic Magazine, who named me one of their “Single & Successful” at their first annual event.

slack-for-ios-upload-32

Wearing: Scarves on scarves on scarves.

slack-for-ios-upload-28

Drinking:

Cold Brew

slack-for-ios-upload-29

As always, hit me up with what you’re #currently into.

Currently

Feeling: Lovey Dovey 💕

Slack for iOS Upload-11

Obviously I’m in la-la-la-la-la-love. *heavy sigh* I’ve been feeling it super hard these days. Love is scary guys. At least this love. This “wow-everything-is-amazing-when-you’re-around-and-totally-sucks-ass-when-you’re-not” love. I pride myself on being a pretty independent person. (At least emotionally.) So feeling dependent (like I currently feel… Gawww… that hurts to even type) is hard for me. But it’s also something I just don’t feel like I have any control over, whatsoever. That’s truly the craziest thing about love—how helpless it makes you. How it binds your hands and thoughts and motions. How you become paralyzed to everything that exists inside of your “love bubble.” It’s nauseating. But it’s so wonderful. It’s so inexplicably wonderful. And not just the “not being alone” part, or the “just having someone” part. It’s having HIM. It’s having THAT ONE. It’s… perfect. All of it. I feel very, very lucky. But also crazy. But mostly lightheaded and giggly.

 

Listening to:  “Powers” by Lostboycrow

(thanks Discover Weekly) I haven’t ventured out to anything else that Lostboycrow has done since stumbling onto this amazing song.. but I’m sure I will eventually. Also—this song perfectly explains everything I was trying to explain above.

 

Watching: The Night Of, Bojack Horseman, Vice Principals, and Gilmore Girls

Celebrating:

 

Thinking About: Animals

Mostly just dogs and bunnies. I’m itching to have a pet. I can’t even tell you. After Derek and I named the rabbits that hang out in his yard, it made me really start thinking about getting a bunny as a pet. I work too hard/much to be responsible for an attention-seeking dog, so I took to Facebook to see what all of my wonderful friends thought about getting an independent lil bunny. An overwhelming majority of you shot that shit down—real fast.

Screen Shot 2016-08-29 at 10.56.35 PM

Eating: Donuts

Slack for iOS Upload-12

Unhealthy obsession has begun. Started with that gateway drug: coffee. I’ve truly become a coffee + donuts girl. But keep those nasty cake donuts away from me. For real. Ew.

Looking For: A new hair-do

The box braids are all but falling out. (For reals. I’ve left these suckers in WAY too long.) Here’s where I currently stand, hair-wise:

  • I have put no heat on my hair since January of 2016. I also haven’t had any natural hair out (other than these raggedy edges) since then, either. Kinda miss my REAL hair.
  • That being said, I haven’t woken up for work early to actually heat up a straightener/curling iron and “do” my hair since January of 2016. Ha. Don’t know if I can get back into that routine.
  • Sidebar: I’ve never had a weave in my life. Is it time to just bite the bullet and try ‘er out?
  • Super Sidebar: I still deathly want to be blonde. Like more than yall know. I know it doesn’t make sense for fall… but c’mon. What do we think?
  • The bob was cool, but I miss my long ass box braids, too.
  • Also have toyed with wanting to shave half of my head too. So, there’s that.
  • Basically just want some long, no-maintenance hair style for the fall/early winter.

 

 

 

Supporting: The Big Table – The Columbus Foundation

Check out more about that in the link above—and also check out The Big Give!

Wearing: The Double Hoop. Yay or nay?

Slack for iOS Upload-13

 

Drinking: Beer. Can you say, Beer Olympics?

Discovered that Rhinegeist Peach Dodo is, officially, my favorite beer. And shoutout to me actually making it to group photos!

Slack for iOS Upload-18

 

That’s all I’ve got. What’s everything you’re into, currently?

 

XO

KWiggz

Currently

Feeling: Independent AF

Untitled design (14)

 

I’m doing it, y’all. Half because I have to and half because it’s about damn time. I’m moving into my own muthafuckin place. Like—only my name on everything. Like—walk in and drop my shit wherever I want cause it’s MINES!!! Like—can’t ask anyone to chip in on utilities cause I’m legit the only one using ‘em. I’ve never lived alone since I moved out at 18. And, to be honest, I really love me where I am right now, so why not just live with myself? 🙂

Further PRO’s to my new place:

It’s in my favorite neighborhood, Grandview.
Walking distance to my favorite bar and 7 minutes from work!
It’s not a studio – which was all I thought I could afford in my head.
RIGHT on the river so I can kayak my little heart out! ❤

 

Listening To: Nick Jonas “Last Year Was Complicated”

I’m a sucker for him, idk why. Here’s my fave song on the new album.

 

Watching: GAME OF THRONES! (with Dairy Queen… Game of Ice Cream Cones)

got

Celebrating: CAVS WIN!!!! (which I got to witness in CLE!!) Legendary moment. Still in awe of the energy I felt there. So glad I went! Thanks to my love, Derek, for inviting me and to all of his friends for letting me come along!

 

Thinking About: This Quarter Life Crisis I’m Creeping Up On

Eating: THURMANS

Thurmans5

Derek and I both had our first taste of Thurman’s with his parents a few months ago, and it’s become our date spot. We haven’t gone yet this month though… hmm…

Looking For:

Supporting: Columbus Women in Digital

IMG_7912

I attended the first CWID event a couple of weeks ago and (obviously) blogged about it. Check that post out and find out how you can get involved with this kickass group!

Wearing: Box Braid Bob. Missing the butt-length braids doe. Which look do you prefer?

Drinking: Porch Coffee. My Fave ❤

IMG_8171

In Need Of: SUNSCREEN! How tf do you deal with sunburns guys?! I don’t understand?!?! I’ve gone 24 years with maybe 2 or 3 very minor nose-sunburns in my life… but right now, today, my entire face is peeling and is like 8 different shades of dark brown. What happened, Sun?! Thought we liked each other?!?!

 

Peeling,

KWiggz